


How to drive a Luthor insane (in ten steps or less)

by Marieke_things_dreams_and_stuff



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: DEO shenanigans, Danvers Sisters, F/F, Flirty Lena Luthor, Fluff, Kara going about her business at the deo, Kara moves in, Krypto - Freeform, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lex is going insane, Lex needs a break, Movie Nights, Nervous Kara Danvers, Thirsty Lena Luthor, babies at the deo!, dogs at the deo, drunk alex, frustrated lex, really devoted lovestruck Alex Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marieke_things_dreams_and_stuff/pseuds/Marieke_things_dreams_and_stuff
Summary: Much to Lex’ frustration and irritation, Kara has to temporarily move into the D.E.O. because her apartment got flooded. Suddenly the D.E.O. becomes a place for movie nights, make-out sessions, casual laundry-related semi-nudity, dogs and gossip.Lex is going to need a minute to recover from all of it.Or, as first reader Melody-Fox has described the fic:“Lex is the tired step dad of the deo who has no idea what’s going on and kara and the gang are all the kids desperately trying to annoy him into divorcing their mom.”Featuring Lucy Lane, a handful of Legends, Lex, Krypto and a thirsty Lena.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 29
Kudos: 491





	How to drive a Luthor insane (in ten steps or less)

“Okay,” Lex said, rubbing the temple of his head irritably, “let me over this again. Why are you staying at the D.E.O. again?”

Kara huffed, shifting the cardboard boxes in her arms to get more comfortable.

“My apartment got flooded. It’s completely uninhabitable. My landlord said it would take at least a month for them to assess and deal with the damage.”

“A month?” Lex’ eyes practically bulged out of his head. “You can’t stay here for a whole month! This is a place of business.”

Kara rolled her eyes.

“Exactly, and I’m part of that business. So, unless you want me to offer my services to a different agency that does offer housing to its employees…”

“Fine, fine,” Lex muttered irritably. “Just, don’t get in my way. Don’t get in anyone’s way. We have important work to do here.”

Kara beamed. “Don’t worry boss! You’ll barely even notice I’m here!”

Someone bumped into him from behind, and Lex turned around quickly, an angry frown on his face.

“Oh sorry,” Alex said unapologetically. “Kara, what do you want me to do with the DVDs?”

“Put’em in the common room. There’s a tv there!”

“Will do,” Alex said walking past Lex without a second glance. “Also James wanted to know how many blankets you still needed from your couch?”

“All of them!” Kara’s voice called out from a different room. “Did he get my duvet and pillows?”

“Yeah, he put them in his car along with your suitcases.”

“Great! Thank you!”

“Oh,” Alex turned around and almost knocked Lex off his feet with the boxes in her arms again. “I put out some clearances for the others. They’re coming by with Kara’s stuff. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Who exactly are we talking about?” Lex asked suspiciously.

Alex shrugged.

“The usual. Nia, James… some others.”

Lex sighed. “Just make sure they keep out of everybody’s way.”

“Yes sir.”

* * *

The first time Lex definitely noticed Kara was there, was when he was almost floored by a petite girl holding a stack of files almost as tall as she was.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, not looking at him, stabilizing the wobbling stack in her arms, “didn’t see you there.”

“Nia!” Kara called out from the communal break room, “over here.”

“I got the files, Kara!” Nia called out enthusiastically. “Andrea was all like ‘no, work on something else, leave that case alone’ but I didn’t buy it,” she said proudly. “There’s a story there.”

“You thought right!” Kara exclaimed, moving on the couch so Nia could sit there. “What did you find?”

“Well, I’ve got some names, addresses, bank statements,” she counted on her fingers. “Literally all we need to expose this guy. We’re so totally going to crack this case wide open,” she cheered.

Kara laughed, and the two girls high-fived.

“Excuse me?” Lex muttered irritably.

Kara and Nia turned around in their seats to look at Lex. Kara looked at him as if she’d only just noticed he was in the same building as her, even though he’d been working from the D.E.O. all day.

“Oh, hi Lex.”

“I thought I said not to bother me,” he gestured between the two of them. “So what’s this?”

“Oh, don’t mind me,” Nia said quickly. “I’m just here because we couldn’t do this work at the office. We always work from Kara’s place.”

“Yeah,” Kara backed her up. “Always.”

“Okay, okay, you can’t just,” Lex took a deep breath. “You can’t just invite your little friends over, Supergirl. This is a place of business.”

“And we’re doing business,” Kara said slowly. “I don’t see what the big problem is. We’re not bothering anyone?”

Nia nodded her head emphatically.

Lex groaned.

“Fine, just – ” he shook his head. “Just stay out of everyone’s way.”

“Was planning on it,” Kara said, her nose already buried in the documents before her.

Lex sighed, but turned around and left.

It was just _one_ other person.

The second time Lex definitely noticed something was amiss, was on a Tuesday. He was going over some of his more nefarious plans – the more tedious, fiscal side of things – and walked into one of the many dark conference rooms in the D.E.O., when he was startled by a blast of fire in another room.

He jumped back, almost tripping over a chair in the process.

“What’s going on?” he yelled. “Are we under attack? Get the teams ready!”

A blonde woman Lex had never seen in his life appeared before him, a little out of breath, but seemingly unfazed.

“Hi there. Have you, by any chance, seen Marie-Antoinette walking about?”

“What?” Lex asked perplexed. “Is that code for something?”

“No! Marie- Antoi – never mind,” the woman shook her head. “Just, if you see a woman in a ballgown and a huge wig walking about, could you just call me over. Oh, and don’t panic if you hear a blast or anything, we’re professionals – ”

Their conversation was interrupted by a manly roar, followed by a small explosion.

“Die, you French bitch!”

“Mick! We’re not killing her! Ava!” a familiar voice called out. “We’ve got her! Bring the ship around!”

The blonde woman sighed in relief before running off. Lex followed her on foot.

“Gideon,” she spoke into her watch, “we’ve got her! Meet us at the D.E.O.!”

“Right away Mrs. Captain,” a robotic female voice called out.

Lex followed the blonde woman in utter and absolute confusion.

The entire situation made no sense.

They came to a halt in the communal room, where Supergirl, Sara Lance – the assassin from the Vanishing Point – Ava, Alex Danvers and a bald man with a smoking gun stood around a woman who _looked exactly_ like Marie-Antoinette, the last queen of France.

“W-what,” he sputtered.

“Vous ne m’attraperez jamais!” the woman in the grey wig called out. She yelped when she was suddenly lifted over the shoulders of one angry, Neanderthal-looking bald man.

“I hate the French,” he grunted.

“What the hell is going on here?” Lex shouted.

“Oh,” Kara turned around to face him. “Lex! Meet my friends! The Legends! You’ve met Sara, right?”

“Baldy,” Sara nodded. “How are you?”

“What the hell is going in?! Who the hell is that!” Lex pointed at the struggling woman in Ava and Rory’s arms.

Sara looked over her shoulder.

“Oh that,” she blew the air out of her mouth cockily, “that – that’s a problem we just fixed for you.”

She put her hand on his shoulder.

“You’re welcome,” she said before strutting away.

“We’ll send you a bill for the troubles!” she called out.

“Bye,” Ava muttered as she walked by, carrying Marie-Antoinette by her arms.

_“Ceci est incroyable! Je vous promets que dès que je suis libre vous allez souffrir! Souffrir, je vous dis!”_

The bald man, who passed them by holding on to the woman’s legs, grunted – which Lex assumed was his version of ‘adieu.’

“I’ll walk them out,” Alex suggested, quickly walking past Lex.

Lex brought his hands to his head and rubbed his temple.

“Supergirl,” he said softly.

Kara walked up to him and smiled nervously.

“Hey there, Lex,” she said, knocking her fists together. “You’re looking sharp today. How’s your day been going? Good?”

“Care to explain what that was?”

“Ehm,” Kara looked around the room, as if it could somehow provide her with some answers.

She looked back to Lex.

“Okay, so, first of, you should know that this definitely isn’t my fault.”

“Oh God,” Lex muttered.

Kara took a deep breath, before starting the longest ramble Lex had ever heard in his life.

“So, basically, Sara came over to say hi, and to introduce me to Ava – her like, long-term girlfriend I hadn’t met yet. And then, like, Alex wanted to join too? Cause she didn’t believe Sara Lance could ever be monogamous – which is, like, mean. But I kind of get where she was coming from. So anyway, we had like a casual drink – nothing fancy, I know it’s a place of business. I told them that, you’re welcome. And the whole team – the Legends – were supposed to stay on the ship because they’d just captured an anachronism – that’s what they call someone who’s been displaced from their real time and place – like Marie-Antoinette! Oh, right! Cause they’re time travelers, my bad, should’ve led with that. But anyway, they locked her up on the ship, and the boys were supposed to guard her while Sara and Ava were here with me. But, like, the boys took off without telling anyone because they had a party planned – so immature – and then the anachronism wandered off? Into the D.E.O.?” Kara rambled.

Lex thought he might be going cross-eyed at Kara’s long-winded explanation.

“Then what happened?”

“Well, lucky for us, Rory was still on the ship.”

“The bald guy?”

“Yes!” Kara said happily. “He followed her here, and helped catch her!”

She looked around apologetically.

“Although their methods of rescue kind of, sort of, always involve a lot of material damage?”

Lex looked around the room for the first time and groaned.

There were scorch marks all over the dark walls, the couch was irreparably burned on one side, and were those knife holes on the other end?

Kara seemed to read his mind.

“Sara likes to use swords when capturing people,” she whispered awkwardly.

“Evidently,” Lex replied dryly.

“But don’t worry!” Kara said quickly. “I’ll get everything cleaned up! Though, I think the couch might need a replacement.”

Lex sighed. “Take it up with the office administrator at LuthorCorp.”

Kara nodded quickly.

“I’ll get us a real nice replacement,” she promised. “Truly, you’ll almost be glad this happened!”

Lex threw her a look and Kara quickly shut her mouth.

“Just get this fixed up,” he muttered. “And don’t invite those people over again!”

“Yes sir!”

Lex turned around and left the building.

He’d work from LuthorCorp for the rest of the day.

* * *

This time, Lena was with him.

Admittedly, it was late. Most agents had gone home, only the night team remained. And Lena and Lex, but they were just there to put in some last minute work that required the D.E.O’s database. More specifically, their military database.

Lex was set at a desk in the main entrance room, while Lena was skimming a file, walking around the room slowly, muttering to herself. She often did that when she was occupied.

The occasional agent passed them by, performing the day-to-day tasks they had left to carry out.

It was only when Lena stopped muttering, and the agents next to him came to a halt, that Lex noticed something was wrong.

He looked up with a frown, wondering why everyone around him had suddenly stopped working.

The answer wasn’t hard to find.

Kara Danvers was walking barefoot through the D.E.O., clad only in a white towel wrapped around her torso, ending around mid-thigh. She was humming to herself, running a brush through her wet hair, completely unaware of the dozens of eyes on her.

“Alright, show’s over, get back to work,” Lex said to the agents, but either they hadn’t heard him, or they were prioritizing Kara’s dripping, half-naked body over their boss.

Since it was clear nobody would get any work done like this, he decided to be more direct.

“Supergirl!” he called out.

Kara turned around when she heard her name.

“Oh hey, Lex,” she said sweetly. “You still working?”

“Well I would be, if you weren’t distracting everybody,” he said angrily.

Kara looked surprised.

“Oh,” she said confused. “Is it my humming? Is it too loud?”

The girl couldn’t be that daft.

“Supergirl, you’re dripping all over my floors and you’re half naked!” Lex exclaimed. “Don’t you know any shame?”

Kara blinked and looked down.

“I’m wearing a towel?”

Lex could’ve screamed in frustration.

“A towel is not adequate business attire, Supergirl!”

Kara rolled her eyes.

“Well I had to wear something out of the shower didn’t I?”

“Then why not put on some nightwear?” Lex all but shouted.

“Because I left them in my room!” Kara explained. “And since the showers are all the way over at the other end of the building, I couldn’t really come out naked, could I?”

Lex closed his eyes and pinched his nose.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Kara shook her head. “I take showers here all the time. It’s not like this is anyone’s first time seeing me walk around in a towel?”

“It’s a ‘big deal,’ Supergirl,” Lex complained, “because you’re leading attention away from people’s work! Which was exactly what you promised me you wouldn’t do.”

“Okay,” Kara said putting up her hands. “Don’t worry about it. I got it. I won’t walk around in a towel anymore, jeez.”

She huffed before turning around and walking away.

“And you better get a mop for all that water on the ground!” Lex yelled after her.

He shook his head, but noticed that all the agents were still standing still, craning their necks to get one last look at Kara.

“Don’t you all have anything better to do?” Lex yelled out irritably.

The agents jumped up, and quickly went back to work.

Lex sank back in his chair angrily.

“Can you believe these people, Lena?” he asked his sister. “No respect.”

When he didn’t get an answer – not even an affirmative hum, he looked up.

Lena had shifted all her weight on her left foot, so she was leaning all the way to the left. Her head was tilted upwards, and her eyes were glossy.

“Lena?” Lex asked.

Lena didn’t answer. In fact, she craned her neck upwards even more, trying to get an even better look.

“Lena,” Lex said irritably.

“Hmmm?” Lena hummed.

“What are you doing? What are you looking at?”

Lena turned her head around to look at him.

She blinked owlishly for a few seconds.

“What? Nothing,” she said breathlessly. “Absolutely nothing. What were we working on?”

Lex sighed.

“Not you too,” he groaned.

“What?” Lena said defensively, her cheeks flushing red. “I was only looking to see if she got to her room okay.”

She shook her head before bringing the files so close to her face to read them, Lex suspected her nose would be touching the paper.

He shook his head.

Maybe he should call his people to take a look at Kara’s apartment. The sooner that mess was fixed, the sooner Kara would be out of the D.E.O., and that, in Lex’ opinion, couldn’t come soon enough.

* * *

The next time Lex walked into the D.E.O, on a rainy Saturday night, he was surprised to find that the entire building smelled of butter and… popcorn? The smell lingered in every nook and cranny, and Lex mourned the fact that his nine-thousand-dollar suit would probably smell like it for the rest of the day too.

The source of the matter wasn’t hard to find. He just had to follow the sounds of the loud, giggling group of girls in the common room.

“So he was like, but what about kids, what about marriage,” one girl whined. “And I was like, man, I don’t want any kids, I wanna be able to sue the living crap out of horrible, greedy, old, white businessmen. I want to go to court and wipe the whole place clean, ya know?”

“Sure.”

“So then I said, you either get with the program and support my career, or you can walk!”

Kara gasped. “And what did he say?”

A short brunette he vaguely recognized, the one who’d spoken before, shrugged.

“I don’t know. He took too long to answer so I walked.”

Kara giggled. “Wow, Lucy, that’s amazing. But are you okay? Do you miss him?”

The girl, Lucy, shrugged.

“Kara, babe, life’s too short to spend it with small-minded little men. Trust me on that.”

Kara nodded seriously.

“I should write that down,” she murmured to herself.

“I don’t miss him. I miss the sex though,” she added as an afterthought. “This guy had abs, I tell you.”

She whistled mournfully.

“But there are more guys with abs out there,” she shrugged.

Kara hummed. “That’s the spirit.”

“I would always support your career, babe,” Alex turned to her girlfriend – Kelly Olsen, Lex remembered. The psychologist.

Her words were slightly slurred, and her eyes were glossy and adoring.

“Literally, you could do anything. Anything – run for president – and I would support you. All day every day,” Alex vowed. “You’re amazing, you can do, like, anything. Everything. You’re – wow.”

Kelly laughed, put her glass of wine on the table and kissed her girlfriend.

“That’s cute, babe. But I seriously had no doubts about that.”

Alex smiled dopily at her girlfriend.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They leaned in again to kiss, under loud cheers from Lucy, when Lex decided that enough was enough.

“Ehem,” Lex coughed.

Alex sighed and turned around, looking very annoyed.

“Can we help you?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Lex said. “Does anyone care to explain why my entire D.E.O. office building smells like popcorn?”

“Oh,” Kara exclaimed. “That’s cause it’s movie night!”

She enthusiastically raised a bowl of popcorn, but lifted it just a little too fast, letting some of the individual popcorn kennels fall out and on the couch.

Kara didn’t seem to notice.

“Want some?” she beamed.

“What – no! No, I don’t want some!”

Kara frowned.

“But we added butter?” she said confused. “It’s delicious.”

“I do not want popcorn on my property!” Lex yelled. “It smells terrible, and downgrades the entire establishment!”

“It’s not our fault this place has terrible ventilation,” Alex countered. “Maybe you should invest more in the properties your employees have to work in.”

“Why, you have some nerve – ”

Just then, Lena walked into the room, interrupting Lex.

“Oh hey, Lex,” she said, plopping down on one of the brand-new couches.

“Lena?” he asked confused. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s movie night,” Lena said with a _duh_ tone in her voice.

“But then, what – ”

He paused when he saw Lena lean over the armrest of her couch, and grab a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

“Mm,” she said, chewing, “so what are we watching?”

“Miss Congeniality,” Kara beamed.

“Let me guess,” Lena said with a smirk. “It was your time to choose.”

Kara’s grin was confirmation enough.

Alex sighed. “We’re so watching Us next time.”

Kara groaned.

“Why do you always have to pick horror movies, Alex?” she complained. “They’re too scary!”

“Don’t worry, Kara,” Lena said sweetly. “If you want I can hold your hand throughout it all.”

Kara blushed to the tops of her ears.

“Wait for me, wait for me!”

A whirlwind of dark brown hair and a blue dress rushed past Lex, and landed on the couch.

“Hi Kara, hi Lena, hi Alex, hi Kelly, hi Lucy, what did I miss? What are we watching?”

“Oh my God, Nia, you missed Lucy’s story, which was just the best! Lucy, tell her!”

“Alright so, it all started when this guy flirted with me at a bar in Tijuana – ”

“No! No, no, no, no, no. I cannot listen to this again,” Lex interrupted.

“Well you’re free to go,” Lena suggested. “Unless you want to watch the movie with us?”

Lex almost growled in frustration.

But before he could say anything, a bear of a man pushed past him.

“Sorry, sir,” he said, “just have to go – hi guys!”

“James!” the girls all called out.

“What are we watching?”

“Miss Congeniality!”

“Let me guess, Kara got to choose.”

Kara pouted at him.

He laughed and plopped down on the couch next to Kara, taking a handful of popcorn in the process.

“Oh,” he frowned. “We’re almost out of popcorn. Good thing I brought some more!” he said taking out a couple of brown paper bags filled with popcorn.

“I’ll make it!” Nia shot up. “But don’t share any stories without me!”

Lex sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Please open a window,” he muttered before walking away.

* * *

Lex and Lena walked into the D.E.O. with resolute steps. They had a crisis on their hands and they were determined to find out who was behind a string of attacks in the city.

“I’ve contacted director Danvers,” Lena said. “She’ll be with us shortly.”

“Great,” Lex said, walking into the conference room, head turned towards Lena. “Once we find out who the perpetrator is, we should contact Supergirl and tell her – ”

“Tell me what?”

Lex turned around sharply, startled by the sudden sound.

He found himself facing Kara Danvers in a sports bra and shorts, standing behind an ironing board.

Lex halted.

“What,” he asked after a pause, “are you doing?”

Kara frowned.

“I’m ironing,” she said, raising her hand with the iron in it as if to demonstrate.

“Yes I can see that,” Lex forced out. “But why are you doing it here?”

“Ehm, cause the room I sleep in is too tiny, and doesn’t fit my ironing board, and the common room is being used for lunch by the other agents and you said not to interrupt them by walking around half-naked again,” she pointed out. “And I want to demonstrate that I’m an excellent tenant, so now I’m ironing here. Discreetly.”

“You couldn’t just put on more clothes?” Lex asked frustrated.

“No!” Kara said. “That’s why I’m ironing my clothes! I had to wash everything cause I had no clean clothes left!”

Lex sighed, and wondered, not for the first time, if all his efforts to take over Earth Prime, manipulate the lives of the people around him, and take over the D.E.O. had actually been worth it.

“Well can you do it somewhere else?” he asked irritably. “Lena and I have to work here.”

“Oh, it’s fine by me,” Lena said quickly. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Kara beamed.

“Thanks Lena!”

“You’re welcome,” Lena smiled. “Love the shorts by the way.”

Kara looked down at her teeny-tiny baby blue shorts that covered her butt and not much else.

She blushed.

“You haven’t even seen the backside.”

She turned around and Lex audibly sighed at the sight of the image of the Disney figure Stitch grinning at them from Kara’s butt.

“Really?” he mused aloud.

“ _Very_ nice,” Lena said slowly.

“You like it?” Kara turned around with a smile.

“Do I ever,” Lena muttered.

“Seriously?”

“What,” Lena frowned defensively. “They’re cute.”

Lex sighed. “I bet.”

“Besides,” Lena said, taking a seat, “now Kara can follow the meeting while being respectful and mindful of the rules you set up after the shower-incident.”

Kara nodded emphatically.

“Well,” Lex said, “you did always look on the brighter side of every situation.”

Lena smirked.

With a sigh, Lex sat down.

“Let’s begin then, shall we.”

Kara took a bright yellow T-shirt off a stack of clothes on the table.

“Right,” she said seriously, frown set on her face. “What are we dealing with here?”

“Well,” Lex started, opening his files, “a group of aliens originating from the planet of Xand – ”

He was interrupted by a gush of warm, damp heat coming from the iron.

He looked at Kara who raised her eyebrows.

“What planet?” she asked.

Lex closed his eyes and sighed.

He was really starting to hate the D.E.O.

* * *

“Why is there a dog running around the D.E.O.?”

“He’s a rescue! Alex and Kelly adopted him and he just came around for a visit!”

“This is not a park, Supergirl! Get him out of here!”

“Krypto!”

“What?”

“Get Krypto out of here! That’s his name.”

“I don’t care what his name is – no matter how tacky it might be.”

“It’s not tacky! It’s cute!”

“I will be sending you a bill for my shoes. Teach your mutt not to attack my leather Testoni dress shoes!”

“Why are there toddlers running around the room?”

“It’s my turn to babysit! Aren’t they cute? Who’s a good baby, Jonathan? You are! You are!”

“This is a place of business, Supergirl, not a daycare! And tell them to stop slobbering on my floors!”

“And then she was all like – but they why date him, and I was all like, because I like him. But then she said, he’s trash, you can do better. And I was like, oh yeah, like who? I don’t exactly see people lining up, ya know? Cause then, I’d have to say I was Supergirl. There’s only so many people who know, so like, limited options. But then she kissed me! And then I got all like – ”

“For the love of all that is good and holy, Supergirl, can you wrap up the phone call?! We’re having a meeting over here!”

“Almost done! Jeez! Give me a minute! And then I said wow, you know, cause she was such a great kisser. But then I was like, I didn’t even know you like girls too, and she was all, how could I have made it any more obvious, and then…”

* * *

The last time Lex walked into the D.E.O, he could admit that it might’ve been partially on him.

He’d forgotten some files at the D.E.O. which he desperately needed at LuthorCorp for further analysis. Now, he could’ve sent his driver to pick them up, but unfortunately for him that day, he was deeply suspicious of everyone around him, including all of his workers.

So, at 11pm on a Sunday night, he walked into the almost completely abandoned building. Apart from a handful of security guards at the entrance, the building was almost completely void of any personnel. And sure, Lex knew Supergirl was sleeping somewhere in one of the empty on-call rooms. And sure he’d noticed how Lena had been getting closer to Kara again.

But nothing prepared him for what he was about to see.

He swiped his keycard, walked into a darkened conference room, not even noticing it was the only room that had a small lamp lit, and absentmindedly turned on the main light.

When he looked up, he screamed, dropped his expensive new phone on the stone floor, and recoiled backwards.

“W-what – what?”

Lena Luthor – his little sister Lena Luthor – his _baby sister_ Lena Luthor – was sitting in one of the main conference chairs, usually reserved for the leader or director of the team. She was wearing her favorite navy suit, but the waistcoat had been forgone, her jacket discarded, and the white blouse she wore underneath had been unbuttoned so far, her red bra was visible.

And Kara Danvers – Alien, Supergirl, his nemesis Kara Danvers – was sitting on her lap, knees on either side of Lena’s legs, clad only in a pair of panties and a pink, frilly bra. Lena’s hands were settled on the back of the woman’s upper thighs, pulling her close.

They both turned to look at him, surprised at the sudden intrusion, and Lex noticed with no small amount of nausea how Lena’s dark red lipstick was stained all over Kara’s face and neck.

“Lex?” Kara called out, mortified.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lena asked annoyed.

“W-what – what the hell are you doing!” he shouted.

“Well,” Kara looked between her and Lena. “Ehm?”

She turned to Lena.

Lena rolled her eyes.

“It’s fine, he’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“What on earth is going on here, Lena?” Lex asked bewildered. “What are you doing?”

Lena tilted her head slowly, looking severely unimpressed.

“Lex, we’ve been over this a million times now. You know I like women.”

“Women!” he exclaimed. “Not alien nemeses!”

“Hey,” Kara frowned. “I’m a woman. And an alien. I can be both.”

Lena smirked.

“How could you do this? Our family, Lena!”

“Lex,” Lena sighed, “don’t you get tired of your own words? I know I do. We’re openly working with Supergirl. We’re openly supporting her. So why bother stirring up some old conflict again, when we could just as well let it be? What's the harm in just letting us date?”

“This is an abomination,” Lex stammered. “This is unreal. Impossible. It can’t – you can’t – ”

Lena threw him a look.

“Out of all the women in National City,” Lex exclaimed aghast. “Out of all those women you could have at your feet, you just had to go for the bizarre Alien?”

Kara turned to look at Lena and raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Lena. How about it? What about all those other women?”

“Yeah,” Lena said tugging at Kara’s hips so she fell forward, bracing her hands on the back of Lena’s chair, her hands placed on either side of Lena’s head. “All those amazing, wonderful women.”

Kara frowned.

“But I only want my sweet, bizarre little alien.”

Kara beamed, leaned in and kissed Lena.

“Good choice,” she whispered against Lena’s lips.

Lena chuckled, and the sound was muffled by Kara placing another set of kisses on Lena’s lips.

“Stop it, stop it!” Lex called out. “This is horrifying, cut it out!”

Kara rolled her eyes and Lena sighed loudly.

“Lex, will you just get over yourself?” Kara said. “You’ve seriously been a stick in the mud for the entirety of my stay here.”

“Maybe you should calm the fuck down,” Lena agreed.

“I will not – I can’t – ” Lex raged. “This is unacceptable, this is – ”

“I tried to do everything to win you over, these last two weeks,” Kara explained, “and you still hate me. I love Lena, and I’m tired of trying to convince you that I deserve her. I won’t hurt her. I’ll always protect her. I love her.”

Lena looked at Kara, almost surprised at the conviction in her voice. She looked at her so lovingly, so reverently… 

“You’re a disgusting alien!” Lex repeated, kind of stuck in his disgust and his shock. "You two can't… you can't just… date!"

Kara sighed loudly and bumped her head against Lena’s chest.

“Is there an off button on this guy?”

“I swear he’s just jealous, babe,” Lena said.

Kara smiled.

“Eliza always said a lot of crimes would’ve been avoided if Lex and my cousin would’ve just gotten a room together.”

Lena laughed loudly, and Kara giggled, smiling lovingly at the sight of her girlfriend’s carefree laughter.

“You’re so beautiful,” she said lovingly.

Lena stroked her hair.

“I don’t even compare to you, babe.”

Kara opened her mouth to retort, but Lex covered his ears.

“No, no, no, no, no! This has gone on long enough! Cut it out the both of you! I swear to God – I can’t.”

“Lex,” Kara deadpanned.

Lex uncovered his ears.

“We’re not going to stop dating,” she said simply. “I love Lena. I’m not going to give that up. But I am willing to compromise.”

Lex tilted his head.

“Compromise how?”

“Well,” Kara started. “Lena here has so kindly invited me to stay with her for the rest of the duration of my apartment’s renovations.”

Lex’ eyes widened, before narrowing suspiciously.

“What are you saying,” he said, trying not to sound too hopeful.

“I could be out of the D.E.O. by tomorrow,” Kara smiled. “Think about it. No more popcorn, no more ironing, no more Legends, no more friends over… You wouldn’t even have to see me and Lena together quite that much. You could completely ignore our existence.”

Lena smirked, and stroked her girlfriend’s hair proudly.

“What do you think?”

Lex frowned.

Boy did he want to disagree with Kara and send a fleet of kryptonite-powered robots after her to obliterate her, and her kind. He hated that he had publicly announced their partnership, and that he had publicly chosen to support and endorse Supergirl.

He wanted her gone, but he knew he couldn’t make it so. He worked so hard to get his reputation back – died for it, in fact, and now… Now he was stuck with Supergirl and his sister by his side.

But her offer… Her offer was just too tempting.

Getting rid of Kara in all of his business ventures. She would only appear at the D.E.O. when needed, he wouldn’t have to listen to her loud ramblings on the phone anymore. He wouldn’t have to listen to the endless, godforsaken gossip. He’d be free of all the things he hated about her.

“What do you say, Lex?” Lena taunted him, stroking Kara’s bronzed back. “Will you leave us alone?”

Lex balled his fists one last time, and took a deep breath, cursing his own decisions.

“You’re out of here tonight, and we have a deal.”

“Alright!” Kara cheered. “We’ve got a deal!”

“I’ll call my movers,” Lena said, taking her phone out of the suit jacket on the floor.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Lex,” Kara said, extending her hand.

Lex looked at it in disgust, before shaking his head and walking out of the D.E.O.

He truly, desperately hated that girl.

But, man, was he relieved he could finally get his work done in the peace and quiet the D.E.O. needed and deserved.

He heard his sister laugh along with Kara, enthusiastically making plans for a home make-over so they could make it their apartment, and not just Lena’s.

He suppressed a tiny hint of a smile.

He hated the alien, that was for sure. But a small part of him… a small part of him was taken aback. Because at least his sister was finally happy. He hadn’t heard her laugh that openly in months. Years, maybe. And if it had to be an alien Lena dated… well at least it was one who was utterly and completely devoted to her. At least it was an alien who wouldn't even think about hurting her.

He heard the two women laugh.

“By tonight, ladies!” he called out, trying to sound as irritated and firm as he possibly could.

Giggling, laughter, and the sounds of tiny, happy kisses interrupted by some laughs were the only response he got.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, thank you for reading! 
> 
> As you can see, I wrote a lighter, more kind-hearted fic for you guys, to get us all through this crisis. I hope you all enjoyed it, let me know if there are any other kind of stories you’d like me to write! 
> 
> Don't worry, Wonderland and Finding our Way Back are not abandoned! I will update them as soon as I can! 
> 
> Please tell me what you think, either here or on [my Tumblr!](https://thingsanddreamsandstuff.tumblr.com)
> 
> That’s it for today, hope you guys all liked it.  
> Have a great day, and stay safe out there!


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